The Heart of the Struggle

Focus Scripture: But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19

Hello again! It's been about 4 months since I've stepped back into this space, and I have to say, I am taking very gentle steps. It's been on my heart so much to write again, but I am treading lightly. I may not post every day, unless God leads me there again...but for now, I am just moving forward in God's grace. I have some blog ideas stored up that I've been saving over time as I reflect upon His Word, and so I thought this Scripture was a great place to start.

Mary pondered many things in her heart she may have never shared. I also don't know how much I'll get to share, but the important thing is, we receive something special from our quiet, private, peaceful times with The Lord. We know that first, that little treasure we receive is for us alone. If we can put it into words to share as a testimony with others, then that's a beautiful bonus and blessing...but sometimes, we don't have the words to expound upon what His Word has done in us...it's just something we take & ponder in our hearts...

Mary probably pondered over things that were both beautiful and difficult. Raising The Son of God. Watching Him grow. Learning & receiving more from Him than she felt she was able to give. I couldn't imagine the pressure & the depth of reliance upon God through the process. But I think as a Mom, and just as people in general, this is the heart of the struggle. The things we experience on the outside are nothing compared to what happens in our hearts afterward...the storm is usually not as bad as the aftermath...the initial explosion happens, but depending on where you're located, the shockwaves produce different levels of damage in everyone...

When people look at us, they may see the storm on the outside, but they do not know the true struggle on the inside. This short Scripture really reminds us how real this is. It reminds me of the song, "Mary, Did You Know?" because I feel like there's a lot that she knew, but probably never said. She kept that in her "heart-to-heart" times with God, and that's why God chose her heart to carry & ponder all these things. Although this was said of David, I truly think it could apply to Mary too: She was a woman after God's own heart.

Jesus is God, but He was also Mary's Son. He is the only One Who had a choice of Who His mother would be. Before Jesus ever spoke these words, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28), Mary probably put this into practice and was then chosen to labor & deliver the Son of God. As the Bible says in Proverbs 18:16, "a man's gift maketh room for him." One could only imagine that Mary was already giving The Lord the things in her heart before it became a sermon. She was already making room at the inn of her internal struggle before she got turned away and had to find a stable. She was a woman stable in her walk with God before she even knew she'd be calling Him Jesus. She had a heart full of treasures & fears, like all of us...yet the ones she never shared with her community, close friends, or family...she must have intimately shared with The Lord.

It's in that intimacy and surrender with Him that our internal struggles, the ponderings of our hearts, birth something beautiful in us. We learn, grow, and see the fruit on the other side of it. Some might see it as us being blessed. Some might just see a new baby birthed in a manger. But on the inside, we know where it started. We know where it came from...and it is so much more...

So today, those silent things, those things we can't put into words...let's give them to Jesus. Although community is wonderful & much-needed, communion with God must come first. Our treasures, our worries, our ponderings...as mothers like Mary, and as humanity as a whole...let's give Him our hearts in the heart of the struggle.